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Avoiding the 6-D's that stifle anti-racist discourse

Updated: Feb 7

In my 17 years leading anti-racist discourse and education in diverse settings, I have recognized a variety of reactions that commonly arise from white folks who are new to (1) our shared history that has not been watered down to minimize white violence; (2) assertive, confident, and direct facilitation of discourse by a Black woman; and (3) the notion of white accountability for mitigating their own racism, and dismantling systems of oppression that provide them unearned privilege at the expense of Black, Indigenous, and People of Color (BIPOC). These reactions function to derail conversation, center the discourse around their feelings and their (typically poorly educated and under-researched) perspective or opinion, and undermine the authority and expertise of the facilitator.

Here's an outline of the 6-D's I often encounter:

outline of 6-D's od anti-racist discourse

Disagree to be Disagreeable

"...Whites are the least likely to see, understand, or be invested in validating those

assertions and being honest about their consequences, which leads whites to claim that

they disagree with perspectives that challenge their worldview, when in fact, they don’t

understand the perspective. Thus, they confuse not understanding with not

agreeing...Yet dominance leads to racial arrogance, and in this racial arrogance, whites

have no compunction about debating the knowledge of people who have thought

complexly about race. Whites generally feel free to dismiss these informed perspectives

rather than have the humility to acknowledge that they are unfamiliar, reflect on them

further, or seek more information."


Example: In an anti-racist workshop, when discussing the impact of historical policies on communities of color, a participant interrupts, stating, "I disagree. I don't think historical events have that much influence today." This disagreement, rooted in a lack of understanding or exposure, halts the conversation and dismisses the experiences of those affected.


Despite (usually) being the least educated or experienced in racial awareness, white

people, particularly men (in my experience) fully feel entitled to disagree with my years

of lived experience, academic study, and professional experience.

What you can do instead: If you are going to be in anti-racist discourse, enter with humility. If you hear information that does not sit well within you, or competes with your preexisting beliefs, write it down. Research it later. Ask the facilitator for an opportunity to discuss (not debate) outside of the session. Question yourself what is driving your feelings of discomfort? What is the source of information that is being challenged? Is the source of your preexisting belief based in anti-racism, or the status quo?


Anti-racism spaces, safe and brave spaces, and allyship development

opportunities are not debate team. They are not settings in which the humanity,

dehumanization, structural oppression, or historical trauma of people in the room or

people you work with can be debated, labeled "fake news", or invalidated as significant

to their daily lives. The extent to which BIPOC experience meaningful harm and trauma

from witnessing police brutality, lynchings, and structural violence is not up for debate. If

you really want to be an ally to marginalized people, you should not DESIRE to debate

the realities of oppression they are forced to navigate.


Example: During a diversity and inclusion seminar, a participant consistently challenges the experiences shared by BIPOC, attempting to debate the significance of microaggressions. This disrupts the learning space, centering the conversation around the discomfort of the participant rather than the impact of systemic issues.


What you can do instead: If you are seeking to be an ally, practice doing the following each time you are exposed to discourse with BIPOC that triggers a desire to debate. First, be quiet, then (1) listen to what is being said, (2) receive what is being shared with you, and (3) validate that what has been shared is real and meaningful.


I have had white leaders admit that they know nothing about the topic at

hand, yet still attempt to reference articles, books, or citations that can refute the cited

historical facts and statistics I have presented. Oftentimes this comes up when I present

content that is researched and written by BIPOC leaders and thinkers, and a

contradictory citation is referenced, which usually has been written by a white man is

referenced as evidence that my claims are incorrect. Key to the attempt to debunk is

that if white people say it, it must be (more) true; if BIPOC say it, it is inherently

questionable, and arguable.


Example: During a workplace training on racial disparities in healthcare, the facilitator shares data supported by research from BPOC scholars. This data highlights the unequal impact of specific diseases on communities of color. Despite this evidence, a white participant, unfamiliar with historical context, seeks to question the methodologies used by BIPOC scholars in gathering data, suggesting that their approach is biased or flawed. They selectively cite alternative studies that downplay the extent of racial disparities in healthcare, emphasizing factors such as socio-economic status or individual behaviors rather than systemic inequities.


If you have never researched the historical context of the disparities and inequities that

plague BIPOC communities; experienced the structural violence and barriers presented

by poverty; had deep conversations with BIPOC about their lived experiences of racism;

or sought out the teaching of leaders, thinkers, scholars, or activists of color, please

trust you are not in a position to debunk the lived experiences of BIPOC. Further, if you

are in the space in order to learn and/or have a desire to be an ally to marginalized

people, you should not WANT to debunk what is being presented.

What you can do instead: If you want to have a deeper or better understanding of the information being presented, of if you have encountered statistics or suggestions that contradict what is being presented: (1) look for citations, if they are present, look those sources up on your own; (2) thank the presenter/facilitator for sharing content that you had not seen before, and embrace the learning opportunity; (3) research your sources and the sources presented to you. Are they written by BIPOC? Are they centering the voices and experiences of marginalized people? Center the discourse that centers the oppressed. (4) Show some respect to the facilitator/presenter. Do not disrespect their education, research, ability to stand up in front of a group of people and talk about what our ancestors were murdered for even dreaming of: equity, freedom, liberation, empowerment. If you need further dialogue or clarity, check in with any white folks around who are more "woke" than you and let them help you, or ask (and pay) for the facilitators time outside the learning space.


White fragility plays out in diversity, equity, and anti-racism dialogues as a

variety of defensive moves that attempt to distance white individuals from racism, and

center the conversation around them and the harm done to their feelings, rather than on

the harm done to marginalized communities for over 400 years. These moves can

include: "patterns of confusion, defensiveness and righteous indignation...feelings of

being victimized, slammed, blamed, [and] attacked." As DiAngelo suggests, "Whites

have not had to build the cognitive or affective skills or develop the stamina that would

allow for constructive engagement across racial divides."


Example: In the context of a workshop on white fragility, a participant becomes visibly uncomfortable and defensive when the facilitator delves into discussions about systemic racism. This individual might respond with aggressive counterarguments, challenging the validity of the concepts presented. In an effort to deflect attention from systemic issues, they could express their discomfort through tears, emphasizing their personal emotional response rather than engaging with the broader topic. This disruption serves to shift the focus of the discussion away from addressing structural problems related to racism and towards the emotional experience of the participant, hindering the collective learning process on broader societal issues.


While it is understandable that people who have been socialized to believe they are

racially neutral, that they are 'good' people who are 'not racist', while having little to

know actual knowledge about what racism is or how one would identify it within their

lives and behaviors, would respond strongly to being made aware of their racial identity

and the unearned privileges it delivers to their life. However, to allow those feelings to

disrupt a healing, learning space for BIPOC and white folks seeking to grow in allyship,

is to attempt to consciously or unconsciously maintain the white supremacist status

quo. By disrupting conversations and strategies for equity, you are promoting inequity.

What you can do instead: Learn more about white fragility and white identify formation and socialization. Seek out what aspects of white supremacy culture have been ingrained in you. Learn about how white supremacy has worked in your favor, and framed the development of your sense of self. Increase your self-reflection in order to identify triggers of your fragility, and develop skills and tools for mitigating those triggers. I offer coaching that can assist in these processes, as well as courses that will be launching soon. White people must understand, BIPOC have been living our suffering, as well as researching it, advocating about it, working to eliminate it, since all this began. We are doing our work. The time is NOW for white folks to do the work of understanding how we got where we are and what white folks can contribute to the solutions needed to create the equitable world we need. Do not come to our spaces to disrupt the healing and transformation processes that are upon us.


Taking over anti-bias and anti-racist discourse with white fragility can manifest

through disrupting with aggression, white tears, checking out in a visible and distracting

way. In addition, attempting it may include: moves to equate racism with other forms of

oppression that white people may experience, forcing dialogue about our similarities in

an effort to stop discussion about our differences, telling long stories about acts of

allyship or evidence that one is not racist, or otherwise bogarting the discourse and

making it difficult to center marginalized voices, or anti-oppression.


Example: In a workplace training session dedicated to addressing racial disparities, the facilitator leads a discussion on the historical context of systemic racism. The conversation centers on the unique challenges faced by BIPOC individuals in professional settings. However, a white participant, feeling uncomfortable with the revelations, attempts to derail the discussion by drawing parallels between racial discrimination and unrelated struggles, such as economic hardships faced by certain communities.

This participant may interject, arguing that economic challenges are universal and affect everyone, attempting to equate them to the specific and deeply rooted issues of racial discrimination. By doing so, they shift the focus away from the nuanced discussion about racial inequities, creating a false equivalency that can hinder progress in addressing the unique challenges faced by marginalized groups.


Whether I am in a corporate setting, institution of higher learning, medical education/training setting, or other professional settings, I often have to remind people

of this: there has never been a time when our ancestors could all sit in a diverse group,

and talk openly about racism, as part of our professional development or paid time to

learn. Historically, my ancestors would not have been in the position I am in to be paid

to teach you about the systems of racism we have inherited. And never before were so

many people of all races positioned and ready to make change to eliminate those


It is time for white people, individually and collectively, to do MORE for justice and

equity than their ancestors ever did. It is time to really take stock of the damage done

by white ancestors, and COMMIT to fully dismantling those institutionalized forms of

violence. That cannot be done, if white folks are in spaces trying to talk about other


What you can do instead: Pay attention to how much you speak in mixed group spaces, write your thoughts down and look for time in break out discussions to share. This is not because your voice doesn't matter, but because BIPOC who so often can't speak up, should be heard first, and know that what they say will be held and received safely. Look for all-white, anti-racist spaces to unpack your white fragility and propensity to make it about you. Our segregated lives make it such that many white folks have never had deep conversations with BIPOC about their lived experiences and how they experience our racialized world, if the opportunity is in front of you, realize you can't hear and receive the gift of that insight, if you're TALKING.


One of the ways I see resistant white folks devaluing anti-racist spaces and

discourse is through the protected anonymity of evaluations.


Example: In a university course focused on anti-racist concepts and practices, a white student, resistant to engaging with the material, consistently disrupts discussions and displays a dismissive attitude towards the content. Throughout the semester, this student actively avoids participating in activities designed to deepen understanding and fails to complete assignments that encourage self-reflection on personal biases.

When the opportunity arises to provide anonymous course evaluations, the student seizes it to express discontent. In their feedback, they submit extremely poor reviews, claiming they didn't learn anything substantial. Despite the fact that their lack of engagement and resistance to the content were evident throughout the course, the student uses the evaluations as a platform to devalue the entire educational experience.


This is particularly violent in spaces like higher education, when

BIPOC faculty, who are disproportionately not tenured, have their contracts largely

assessed based on feedback from students. In any case, do not risk others not having

the opportunity to learn because you are not ready to do the work. If you didn't pay

attention, if you brought any of the 6Ds into the space, if you chose not to participate or

grow, don't project that onto the facilitator or the content.

I once had a healthcare leader, whose institution was filled with reports of bias, and

unethical and illegal practices, that "you can educate people forever, and you'll never

end racism." This attempt to devalue the ability of education to actually decrease bias,

increase empathic care and patient outcomes, served to permit this person not to invest

in educating the workforce. They were not ready to make the financial, cultural, or moral

investment in equity, and they blamed education for that decision.

What you can do instead: Take responsibility for your own contribution to your learning, reflection, and growth. Consider the possibility that you may need additional fundamental tools in order to take away the intended learning objectives. Granted, some trainings may not be well designed, and some facilitators may leave much to be desired, but before jumping to that assertion, critically assess your role in contributing to the learning opportunity.

Avoiding the 6Ds is easier when one is grounded in humility and an open mind and heart. Knowing that you don't know everything, and you likely don't know what you need to know about racism. Racism is does not reside solely in our minds, but in our hearts, spirits, habits, and environment, so we must be open to learning and unlearning. Be open to learning what has been kept from you, and prepare to take action to create the world all our great-grandchildren will want and deserve.

Now, armed with this awareness, let us turn intention into action. Take the first step in your transformative journey by embracing our free Individual Critical Consciousness Assessment. This powerful tool is designed to deepen your self-reflection, uncover blind spots, and set you on a path of purposeful action. Together, let's build a legacy of understanding and justice for the generations to come. Click Below Now to embark on your journey toward lasting change.


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